5 Money Lessons NO ONE Teaches Women

Men are taught to expand their wealth. Women are taught to shrink their spending. 

Men grow up hearing “Go big, or go home”. Women hear, “Be careful. Protect yourself”. 

A man that pursues wealth is “ambitious”. A woman - greedy. 

It’s no wonder that we feel lost, confused and behind in our finances - because the lessons we’re taught are to shrink, settle, and feel guilty for wanting more. 

And it’s time to unlearn ALL of it. 

Here are 5 money lessons that no one teaches women, but they can make a world of difference. 

Money lesson #1: Make earning a priority 

To begin with, women are taught to follow their passion and men are taught to grow their wealth. 

Unfortunately, the reality of the world we live in is that money makes life easier.

  • You can pay for a babysitter so you can have a night out

  • You can hire a cleaner so you don’t have to spend your weekends scrubbing toilets

  • You can buy specialized formula when your baby has allergies to your milk 

  • You can see an out-of-network doctor about your chronic pain 

All of these problems are solved by money. 

But if you don’t make earning more money a priority, they’ll be out of reach. 

This doesn’t mean taking a job that you loathe, just because it has a high paying salary. But it also doesn’t mean accepting a low-paying job just because you’re passionate about it. 

Remember, earning more gives you more independence, stability, and options. 

Maybe you power through a corporate career for a few years, save a boatload of money for retirement, and then quit and follow your passion. 

That’s great! 

Because now you have the money to be able to support yourself, so you don’t need the money from your passion job to support your life. 

But you’re never going to have that option if you spend years or decades working a low paying job that barely even covers the bills. 

 

Money lesson #2: It’s ok to want MORE than security 

Have you ever heard phrases like: 

“Make enough money so you can protect yourself”.  

Or 

“Earn lots of money so you can take care of your family”. 

Women are taught that the reason to pursue wealth is to protect ourselves or provide for others. 

We’re told that going after wealth for anything beyond basic security is selfish.  

Men don’t get this messaging. They aren’t taught that building wealth is self-centered and no one questions their motives when they pursue wealth. 

For women, even something as insignificant as a $4 cup of coffee is shamed because we’re not supposed to want nice things. 

It’s ok to want more than “just enough”. You’re allowed to want freedom, beauty, ease and even luxury, without having a reason to justify it. 

Your money doesn’t need to just be about safety and survival. It can be a source of joy and pleasure in your life. 

So the sooner you unlearn those cultural messages telling you to feel guilty for wanting more, the sooner you’ll be able to turn your big dreams into reality. 

Money lesson #3 - not all spending is bad

We constantly have messaging shoved in our faces about how we should feel guilty for spending our money. 

Women’s discretionary spending is called “frivolous” (my God - men buy lattes too!!), but we’re never taught how to intentionally spend our money. 

Because not all spending is bad - but mindless spending is. 

If you’re walking through Target just popping cute things in your cart as you go - that’s mindless spending. 

If you go online shopping as a stress reliever at the end of a long day - that’s mindless spending. 

The spending you should be doing is carefully thought out spending that aligns with your personal values. 

If getting a latte is your favorite way to start the day - that’s amazing! Buy your latte and don’t feel guilty about it. 

If you love going out to new restaurants with your friends or partner, do it! Enjoy every bite with no shame. 

You don’t need to feel guilty for spending your OWN money on things you love. You only need to feel guilty when you’re mindlessly buying things that take away your ability to spend on things you love. 

So next time you go to buy something, just ask yourself a quick question: 

“Why am I buying this?”

If it’s because it gives you a true sense of inner joy - buy it. Leave the shame in the check out line.  

Money lesson #4 - Assets build wealth, not income 

The next money lesson that women aren’t taught is that a high income doesn’t make you wealthy.

Yes, a high-salary job can raise your standard of living. But it can disappear just as quickly if that job disappears.   

We’re taught that the responsible thing to do is: get a job - then save your money. Penny pinch and squeeze as much as we can out of that income. 

What men are taught is that long-term, lasting wealth comes from building assets. 

Assets are things that grow in value or generate income over time like stocks or rental properties. 

They work for you, even when you’re not working and they create financial stability that doesn’t depend on a paycheck. 

So if you’ve worked hard to earn a high salary - that’s amazing! But don’t stop there. 

Use that income to start building your assets - because that’s what can build generational wealth. 

Money lesson #5 - the power of taking risks

As women, we’re taught that we’re supposed to be the rock in others lives. As wives, mothers, daughters and friends, we’re expected to be constant support and a steady presence to others.  

So it’s no wonder we’re so risk averse. If you take a risk and it fails, not only have you let yourself down, but every other person that relies on you. 

Playing it safe might protect you for the short term, but over time it will hold you back. 

Men are taught to embrace risk. They learn how to calculate risk and reward and they use that to their advantage. 

Men take bigger risks in their jobs, leading to better positions and higher salaries. 

They take bigger risks in investing, leading to more gains and financial growth. 

Whether it’s changing careers, starting a business or investing, any meaningful financial gain you make is going to involve some risk and if you wait too long because you want to “play it safe” you may miss a life-changing opportunity. 

You don’t have to be reckless. You have to be willing to try something new. Willing to bet on yourself. 

Because calculated risks are how you go from financially stable to financially thriving. 

If you haven’t learned these lessons, don’t blame yourself. And don’t blame your mother. Because no one ever taught her either. 

We were taught to play it safe and play it small. 

But is that really what you want for yourself? A safe, small life? 

Here’s what you need to remember:  

You are allowed to want more than just survival. 

You are allowed to spend on things that make you happy - without guilt.

You are allowed to build wealth for yourself. And no one else.  

So stop watching other people live the life you want and go get it for yourself. 


Action items: 

  1. How could you increase your income? How would it feel if you made more? 

  2. What’s a dream you used to have, but maybe gave up because you thought it was “unreasonable”? 

  3. Give yourself a $20 (or $50!) budget and go buy yourself something you want - because money is meant to be a source of joy! 


Katherine, founder of Imperfect Budget

Imperfect Budget is an educational platform built to help women align financial goals and free themselves from limiting money mindsets.

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